Stay at Home Blues

Things in the Fox household are busy but boring. I told Stephen last night that I was the worst stay-at-home mom ever. Not because I can't do it, just because I get bored with it. I have a new respect for mothers who do it. Sure I have the same household responsibilities after working a full day, but I need the adult interaction. I'm out of paid leave, so I feel completely guilty about staying home and not earning money. Even though teachers don't technically get paid to stay home in the summer, at least I keep getting checks every other week. I feel like I'm earning my keep, at least. When I am home without getting money, I feel like I should be doing more and I can't keep up. No matter how often I clean, Maddie undoes whatever I've done. There is always something on the floor and a pile of laundry calls. I also feel like I'm losing my mind a bit. Not only do I feel totally disconnected from the grown up world and find myself wanting to add 'ie' to the end of all words (sheepie, milky, etc), I can't remember a stinking thing. I can't remember my PIN number, whether or not I've shut the garage door, when I've gotten up with Charlie, if I've put a pot of water on to boil. I realize that I'm sleep deprived, but I typically am not a person who forgets these kinds of things. I love being home with Charlie, but I kind of look forward to returning to the adult world....not that I'm cutting my leave short. Let's not be crazy!

Back to being sleep deprived, my wonderful baby has revealed his Achilles heel. He LOVES to be held. Right now he is sleeping on my chest wrapped up in the wonderful baby wrap Stephen got me for Christmas. In fact, he only sleeps soundly when he is being held. This means I get to sleep in my bed for maybe 3 hours a night. He still eats every 2.5 to 3 hours, so in between feedings and sleeping in my bed, I might get 2 hours of 'sleep' in the recliner. The recliner we have upstairs is not the best. I can't keep the back reclined without using my feet to brace against the foot rest. My head bobs around and even though I'm sleeping I know my brain is always thinking about not letting go of Charlie. I don't exactly wake up rested. I've started taking a short nap around 9:00 at night and I do try to take a short nap in the afternoon. Even with the naps, I usually drop around 5:00, which is when Maddie is just warming up. It doesn't help that Stephen is a working maniac right now and gets home late at night. With trying to accomodate everyone's wacky schedules, it is no wonder my brain is melting.

Maddie has been doing well these days...unless you take her shopping. I learned that last night. We are getting some professional pictures taken this week and I wanted outfits for the kids. Charlie stayed with my mom, but Maddie insisted she wanted to 'shop with mommy'. I thought it might be a fun 1-on-1 activity for the girls. Too bad Maddie is obsessed with all things fashion. She had a huge tantrum in The Children's Place. It included rolling around in the floor and head butting me before I took her out to the end of the hall to let her finish. She chilled out and I was able to pick up Lucy's birthday present before we headed to dinner. After that we headed to Old Navy to look for her an outfit. She wanted to buy every pair of leggings in the store. When I said no and removed them from the cart, she let loose. Shoes, books, and magna doodles were launched in all directions across the children's department. I was slapped in the face. I was out of time in finding an outfit, so I continued to shop. I think that was one of the most embarrassing moments of my mommyhood. I won't say it was worse than the time I got tripped up on the gym floor as a freshman cheerleader and skidded across the floor on my heine in front of the varsity boy basketball team, but I know my face was red none the less. I can't wait until she is done with the tantrums. She is at a really fun age minus the screaming and head-butting. :)

Here are a few pics of the kids....

This is what the house looked like after Maddie had been awake for about 2 hours. Note the papers behind her. This is why I have given up on cleaning!

Beau Dog basking in the sun

Miss Smarty Pants was watching the cookies bake in the oven. She stood on this chair and I told her to put her bottom on the seat. She put her bottom on the seat alright, but not exactly as I meant it.

Poking Playing with Cha-Cha

My car had a flat the other day, so Miss Maddie got to stay home. She sat at the table and painted for an hour in the morning with no mess. That afternoon she managed to do this in about 2 minutes. I'm sure Crayola paints are non-toxic!

So you can't exactly see it in this picture, but Maddie isn't wearing any pants or a diaper. She was supposed to be sitting on the potty, but decided it was necessary to get Gracie inside. I've got to remember to lock the door, even if the dogs are just outside for a minute. Don't worry, she was wearing socks and it was probably 45 degrees that day!

Charlie turned 1 month old yesterday. The last 4 weeks have flown by and he has already changed so much. He was not digging the picture thing, but I did manage to get this shot with his eyes open. They are still dark blue, but I'm expecting them to be brown soon. Now if I can just keep his already receding hair to stay dark, I would be a happy mama.